Psychotic Thoughts Through My Mind as I Watch LOTR
by Irish Bug
Summary: All my completely pot-driven thoughts, as the the title tells. You will laugh your ass off, as my sister, Imy, did. PG for some swearing and sexual references. Lots of references to Flipper, The Faculty, Goonies, Rudy, Inceno Man and a Ringwraith up Elija
1. Default Chapter

The Crazy Thoughts That Run Through My Mind When I Watch The Lord of the Rings....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: None of these characters are belonging to me. Did you really think I could think them up? Well, maybe my friends and I could, yes, but that's off the point. All of these characters are belonging to John Ronald Reaul Tolkien. Or whoever made the following movies: Flipper, The Faculty, The Goonies, Rudy and Inceno Man.  
  
Hey Autumn!! Can you believe that I just got so bored I decided to type crap? Hey, sounds like me!! And, ha, Here are a lot of things that we say at school and just about EVERYWHERE!! MWAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
OK, here I go.  
  
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What do you think of when you watch The Lord of the Rings? Well, I know that my mind goes through the weirdest thought process.  
  
At first I think, where's the picture? All I can hear is the funny elvish voice-over thingy. And then it says Lord of the Rings, and I say 'Ooooooooooooooh' and laugh hysterically. Then here comes Elrond (Or as we call him, Lenord, thanks to a story called 'A Trip in Leggie's Shoes'), and I think "But he is still alive, and the freaky Elf person said that none now live who remember it." Well, that completely annoys me.  
  
And then here comes Sméagol, the twit, picking up the ring. And then I scream, because it's Déagol, not Sméagol!! But that goes away, and soon enough, we see Frodo. And I stare, open-mouthed, at the television, taking in all of Elijah's glory. And I think to myself 'How can his initials possibly be EW? He's not ew!!'  
  
And then I remember Flipper. And I think, he never knew that he would be a hobbit. He thought he would always be some high teenager with a dolphin!! Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. If you only knew that some psychotic girl who lives only about two hours from you're childhood home in California and looks just like you would soon enough call you a high teenager with a dolphin on a leash and a Ringwraith up your nose.  
  
Aaaaah, the ringwraith up Elijah's nose. I just happened to notice that in Flipper, when Sandy is waiting for the ferry, it looks like the perfect place for a ringwraith to attack him. So, we then decided that the Wraith lived in his nose. End of story.  
  
Then Flipper comes, and he decides to try to turn a dolphin off with a gameboy. Yeah, right Sandy. I think he was high.  
  
Oh, how high Elijah is. Just think, In Flipper, I would have to say that he is always high. Then, in the faculty, Casey snuffs that crap up his nose (probably giving that Wraith a really bad asthma attack) and gets oh-so- completely high. Then, well, he's a hobbit!! And friends with Merry and Pippin to boot. So, if I can sit up here getting high off of air, wishing a had a long pipe and a nice smoke of Old Toby or Longbottom Leaf, Frodo can go get high some time!!  
  
I think I've made my point.  
  
And then we come to Sam. Ooooooooooh, Sam. You're an odd one. Let's just think. When you were an oh-so-cute twelve-year-old in The Goonies, you never knew who you would become. And I always imagine him taking a sword out of an orc. And saying "He's dead, he doesn't mind!" Oh, as if Sam isn't odd (but ever so great) Mikey is even more odd. I mean, he talks to a dead guy!! I mean, come on!!  
  
But then that girl, thinking he is Brand (Mikey's bro.) pulls him in, and kisses him. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
But, I don't care how odd you think I am, I would have liked to be that girl. I think I would have enjoyed kissing little cutie-pie Sean. And he had braces!! YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Oh, he was just too cute. Then, Inceno Man. SEAN AND BRENDON FRASIER!! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was just way too cute then.  
  
Then Mr. Rudy comes along, and dominates all Sean Astin roles. I love football, and that's just the way it is!! You gotta roll with the punches. That's the way it goes! You gotta bend when the wind blows!!  
  
Sorry, cowgirl moment. Well, it all goes back to Mikey, and how he never suspected that he would grow up to be a football playing, homosexual gardener (don't ask) who talks to dead guys and finds prehistoric men that are really Brendon Frasier in his backyard.  
  
OK, you see the way my mind thinks? Weird, I know, but I guess you just get used to it........  
  
And while all this crap goes through my mind, it comes to Merry and Pippin's first scene. My friend Autumn and I always stretch our hands toward the T.V and squeak whenever Billy Boyd comes on, as if he's going to pop out of the movie and kiss us. Well, I would like that. Then Angie must always fawn over Dom and Legolas, though she doesn't like Orli!! Go figure. Hey, they're my friends. Anyone brave enough to be my friend is also weird.  
  
Aundien, on the other hand, talks to Orlando and waves her butt in his face when he comes on. Go figure, my sis is just like me!! :D  
  
Then Amadrién wonders if we're obsessed, and we may be, but Ergalad doesn't seem to care.  
  
And while my brain rambles on, we find the glorious shot of Elijah in Lothlórien.  
  
Ah, Lothlórien. I can't help but bust up laughing then, and not be able to tell anyone why because I'm crying with laughter. But here's why-  
  
Galadriel: I know what you saw. For it is also in my mind.  
  
Frodo: What? You saw a bunch of dead and diseased birds and crap too?  
  
Galadriel: What? *Looks into mirror* How many times do I have to tell you people, my mirror is not a god damn birdbath!!  
  
  
  
And then this one:  
  
  
  
Frodo: YUM!! *Dunks his face into the mirror*  
  
Galadriel: What the? Oh, WHO USED MY MIRROR AS A COOKING POT!!  
  
*Sam's back can be seen running away through the plants*  
  
  
  
and....  
  
  
  
Galadriel: The mirror shows many things. Things that were. Things that are.  
  
*Water stops pouring*  
  
Things that are....  
  
*Shakes pitcher*  
  
THINGS THAT ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
OK, those are some hilarious spoofs that I read on here and that my friends tell me that they read.  
  
And that reminds me of Caradhras. Aragorn is carrying two hobbits, but he gets tired of them.  
  
Aragorn: *throws Frodo and Sam off the mountain* Fly my pretties, fly!!!!!!!!!! *Evil laugh*  
  
And then in Moria, I always imagine the Balrog being a giant Pikachu. Don't ask me why, I just do.  
  
And so comes the end of the movie, and the only thing I take seriously: Frodo and Sam.  
  
"A passionate love bond between two people. Frodo is Sam's master and he cares about him. And Frodo is extremely protective of Sam." -Sean Astin. He said something like that, and I must agree. Even though I laugh my ass off at the homosexual gardener jokes, I find the bond between Frodo and Sam very passionate and beautiful. I would just love to run in there and kiss them both after they hug.  
  
I WANT TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM SOOOOOO BAD!!  
  
Well, then it's done and I sing In Dreams, then cry remembering how much it tells about my life and what will happen to me in the near future. And I wonder why I laugh at these things, because now my life is turning into those things. And I just hope that they are all OK. But the story of my life is very dramatic and complicated, and it has a lot to do with Middle- Earth. But, call me crazy, I will hopefully be gone there soon. Yet this is a completely different story. If you would like to hear the fate of both world's, feel free to tell me, and I'll post it up here. It sounds enough like a fanfiction....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N- Yes, my mind works in mysterious ways. And I think you should probably pay no-never mind to that last thing. It just came out, though if you want to know, tell me. I'll tell. If Autumn and everyone else gives me permission. Autumn, have I said tool much?  
  
*'~.:PIP:.~'* 


	2. One more mad thought, thanks to Zeekarag...

Oh, thanks guys!! I didn't even think that I as going to post that, but I guess I'm glad I did, huh? Well, OK Autumn, I will make them promise not to laugh because it's very serious, and if they laugh, I hope S.O.M gets them first!! MWAAAAAHAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Evil Dentist Laugh* Don't ask, Girl Scout Troop thing....  
  
  
  
Well, one of my bestest friends, Zeekaragorn (Zeke from The Faculty mixed with Aragorn) pointed this out to Autumn and I, and I laughed so hard, I thought I'd share it with you!!  
  
  
  
Zeekaragorn figured out why Sam is a homosexual!! (Though he's not really, I LOVE YOU SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) When Gandalf pulls him into Bag End, Sam says "Don't turn me into anything... Unnatural...."  
  
Well, there you go. He made him homosexual!! Though there is actually nothing wrong with that, I know a pair of them who are so great!! But it's just so darn funny!!  
  
or....  
  
"I have a better use for you...."  
  
THE FIRST HOMOSEXUAL HOBBIT!!  
  
OK, that's just weird. If you review it, I'll tell Zeekaragorn and he will be happy!! Otherwise, I'll tell him it's stupid and no one liked it.  
  
J/k. Well, seeya in another story A.S.A.P.!!  
  
*'~.:PIP:.~'* 


End file.
